We Are the Ghosts Page 26
Looking down at it, I wonder if I’m the right person for Chloe to have sent it to. Surely, she deserves to hold on to it more than I do. Chloe and Luke belonged to each other in those last months. They started a family together. So why does she want me to have the map, when she has just as much claim to it?
But I know. Because no one else saw Luke’s face when he brought home that map and spread it across the dining room table. Because of all the times Luke came into my room in the middle of the night with an idea of one more place we could stop once we finally took to the road. Because it was my idea, as soon as I saw the map again, to go to Michigan, to tell Wes, to do all of it.
I flatten the map out on my comforter and look at it for a long time. It feels different than it did before. I run my finger along the line that Luke traced, stopping at each circled spot, feeling a fondness for each place. I take the map and tack it to the wall above my desk, stepping back to look at it when it’s fixed in place, and even though it’s not Luke, it’s a tiny piece of him, and for now, it’s enough.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First, always, I have to thank my God, for blessings that I could never deserve, for this experience, and for this book, which is my heart on a platter.
Jean Feiwel, thank you for giving me the chance to keep writing for Swoon Reads and letting me be part of this family. Lauren Scobell, thank you for your ever-constant kindness and support. Kat Brzozowski—I could never thank you enough for all you’ve done for me. You help me turn messes into books I can be proud of, and for that I’m forever grateful. A million thank-yous for everything. Emily Settle, thank you for all the hard work you do for me and for all the authors at Swoon Reads. Thank you, Connie Gabbert, for my dreamy cover and Liz Dresner for the design. Special thanks to Dejavis Bosket and Ruqayyah Daud for your comments and suggestions, some of which completely changed the course of this novel. Thank you to Raymond Ernesto Colón, Ilana Worrell, and Kelsey Marrujo for all you do. And thank you to the rest of the team at Swoon Reads for working tirelessly to keep us all moving forward.
When I became a part of Swoon Reads, I never could have imagined that I would become part of the squad that dreams are made of. When we talk about Swoon Reads being a family, we mean it. Swoon Squad, you are my family now and forever. Thank you for all of your support and your kind words. I wouldn’t have made it out of this with my sanity if I didn’t have you guys to lean on. I would love to name each and every one of you, but there are so many of us now, so I’ll refrain. You all have such big hearts, it amazes me. To my other group, the Electric Eighteens. I am so, so honored to have debuted with all of you. So many talented authors with bright futures and endless enthusiasm. Thank you, all of you. And my lovely friend, Kathy Berla. I’ll never reach the end of my appreciation for you. Thank you for taking the time to read this book when it was still a baby.
Thank you, Diane Gonzalez, for your expertise on exactly what would happen with two teenagers who were reported missing and then showed up on the other side of the country; Mady and Micah Lacefield, for helping with all my inquiries about Indiana, but you guys should really move back to Texas; and Lillie Vale, for assuring me that they do, in fact, have fried pickles in Indiana.
This book is the product of a very, very hard year and the years of heartache that followed. And without my friends, who are closer than my own blood, I’m certain I wouldn’t have survived those years. Because of that, no thank-you will ever be enough, but I can try: Yoon Kang, for taking care of me, feeding me, painting my nails, letting me rant, staying up late into the night making bouquets and centerpieces, and a million other things I don’t have room to list. You’re the most selfless person I know, and I don’t know how I got lucky enough to call you my best friend. Jayma Richmond, for putting a roof over my head and for many, many hours spent playing Call of Duty. Katie Thomson, for hurting with me then and for hurting with me now. You understand in a way no one else can. Meghan Logan, for crying with me, for listening to me, and for never speaking to me with even an ounce of judgement. You are an excellent friend. A huge thank-you to my second family, The Fluitts. I’m not sure any of you realize how you’ve kept my head above water in the last few years. Chris, thank you for always making me laugh, even on my worst days. Sarah, thank you for always being strong and optimistic and kind, even when life throws you hardball after hardball. William, thank you for sharing your imagination, your heart of gold, and your fearlessness with me. Hudson, thank you for always being hilarious and adventurous. And Joshua, thank you for cuddles and smiles and endless hours of cartoons. I love you all dearly.
And my real flesh and blood family: Kathy, thank you for going on this adventure with us and for making me watch Sherlock. How could I survive edits without Sherlock and John? Mom, thank you for literally everything. You are generous beyond measure. Thank you for always being up for a trip to the bookstore, thank you for always getting it when I quote The Office, thank you for always being there when I need help. You mean the whole world to me. And Jeremy, my favorite person of all. Thank you for incredible road trips, hours of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, a fortune spent on pizza, and for being the best husband I could have ever asked for.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vicky Skinner was born and raised in Texas. She doesn’t like country music or horseback-riding, but she does like her motorcycle-riding husband and her two adorable Labs. Everyone told her not to get a degree in Literature, but she did it anyway. She works as a full-time homemaker and a part-time nanny, and if she’s not at home in her office/library, she’s probably hanging out with her church group or eating at the nearest pizza place. How to Drown is her debut novel. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraphs
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2019 by Vicky Skinner
A Swoon Reads Book
An Imprint of Feiwel and Friends
120 Broadway, New York, New York 10271
swoonreads.com
All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
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First trade paperback edition
eBook edition
eISBN 9781250195364